What they don't tell you in health class

Ok, this post really has nothing to do with parenting...I just wanted to gripe for a minute. Some days (i.e. today) I really hate being a girl. I will be the first person to announce to everyone in my vicinity that it's time for my period. I figure everyone should get fair warning...that way if anyone wants to head for the hills for a few days they can. It's the mood swings that I can't stand. Today is one of those days. I have literally gone from crying to laughing in a matter of seconds today and it wasn't until 30 minutes later that I looked back and thought "That was completely insane."

I know it's coming, yet I don't realize when it's happening. I'm well aware (and make other people aware) that for about 3 or 4 days I'm just going to be a big ball of crazy, mixed up hormones. But when I'm in the moment, I don't see that I'm doing it. I cry atleast once during every tv show I watch...even the comedies. I pick fights with Aaron that turn into an arguement and when it's over I have no idea what we were even fighting about to begin with. One minute I'm screaming at Avery to pick up his toys and the next I have him cuddled in my arms crying because he's five now and where did the time go anyway? And for the record, the cuddling lasts all of 30 seconds before Avery gives me that "Have you lost your mind?" look and squirms out of my arms.

It's like compulsive liars, they have no idea they are lying. I have no idea that I'm being crazy until after the fact. I feel sorry for Aaron and Avery because they have to live with it. Am I the only person that does this once a month? I don't think I am, but I usually feel that way. And how in the hell do I get control over all this before I lose my mind?

Supernanny, the poor woman's anti-depressant

I love the show Supernanny. I DVR it and keep it in my saved shows for days when I really need it. Days when I think I've yelled as much as I can yell. Days when I'm ready to hand in my mommy-card and head to Mexico. And days when I think there can't possibly be a child in the world who listens less then mine. On those days I turn on a movie in Avery's room and then I plop down in the living room, hit the DVR button and enjoy the antics of people who have it less together then I do. Who needs Xanax when you have four episodes of Supernanny DVR'd?

As I watch the tv my mood changes drastically. I find myself smiling for the first time all day. Pretty soon I'm patting myself on the back because my kid doesn't kick me when I put him in time out. I don't have to chase him around the apartment and then out the front door when he's in trouble. My five year old does not still have a paci or drink out of a bottle. What the hell am I complaining about? My kid is an angel compared to these kids.

Of course this is generally a pretty short-lived euphoria. Supernanny is only an hour long after all...less if I fast forward through the commercials instead of trying to squeeze chores into those 2 minute breaks. Even if I have some time to myself once it's over Avery's movie usually ends soon after and then we're back to square one.

But I keep the memory of those misbehaving kids with me for the rest of the day and when Avery starts whining because we're having hot dogs again I just smile because at least he's not throwing the hot dogs at me or shoving them up his nose.

Thanks Jo Frost for making my day just a little bit better.

If it wasn't for Erin...

I'll be the first person to jump into a conversation about the ups and the downs of motherhood. I love to talk to other moms about the stresses of parenting but I've noticed that not all of them want to talk about the down and dirty realities of it. So for the most part I keep my comments to myself or talk to my friend Kristie about them.

That was until my high school friend Erin posted a blog on Facebook about the stress of having a second child. Seeing someone else go through a stressful time like that made me realize that no one talks about this enough. If it wasn't for Erin posting that, I wouldn't have thought to do this blog. I need a place to get out my stresses, my worries and my fears about motherhood...along with all the good times. And I need a place where I can do that without feeling judged.

So here it goes...a little glimpse into the chaos that is my life with a 5 year old son. I was single and raised him alone (absolutely no help from the father) until 8 months ago when I met my boyfriend Aaron. Now we live with Aaron and he helps me with every aspect of Avery's life. My life has changed drastically (for the better) but I'm only human and I still have plenty to vent about when it comes to raising Avery and learning to balance a relationship and a child.